Thursday, April 12, 2012

Parenting Tip Thursday (No.7)

ParentingTipThursday

Hey everyone! This week I’m going to share some information about teaching your children people skills.

Kids need to be taught people skills! They need to be taught to honor and respect, to love and to treat others they way they wanted to be treated.

The following attitudes are completely unacceptable:

  • Sassiness towards adults or towards other kids
  • Gossip, idle-talking or spreading rumors about others.
  • Name-calling and putting others down

Help them learn how to respond to siblings, friends, strangers, and adults.

For example:

If you ask your child to do something and they don’t respond, that is complete disrespect and dishonor. It’s important that you have your child look you in the eyes and say, “Yes, mom. I’d be glad to!”

  • When they have messed up with a sibling or another child, they need to take responsibility for their actions, ask forgiveness and make sure they honor one another.
  • When a child is non-responsive, it says either they didn’t hear you or they don’t care. If they “don’t care” this too is dishonoring, egotistical and arrogant. This needs to be addressed.
  • Teaching them how to meet and greet others with good eye contact, a smile and a firm handshake, saying “Nice to meet you.”
  • If you have a child that always has to be first in your family, (most likely a ruby!) teach that child how to honor other people by saying, “You can go ahead of me.” You want to groom that child. This is where you want to teach how to let others go before them. If you don’t groom them they will have a hard time leading.
  • If your child says, “I know!” (Around the ages of 9+) ***Tryp is even doing this at 4 years old!***

For example:

You say, “Please be careful driving today”, or “You need to clean your room before you go outside to play”, and they say “I know”, this is complete pride and disrespect. You want to teach your child how to communicate in a way that is agreeable and not egotistical. This helps them in their future….see the example below…

Example:

When a boss tells them. “Hey, make sure you get that project done and in on time”, and they go, “Yeah. I know.” That is totally arrogant and egotistical. But when they say, “I totally agree and I will make sure and have that done”, that is honorable and respectful.

In a situation where you are giving instructions to your child and he wants to discuss it further with you, teach him how to do this without arguing with you.

It shouldn’t look like this:

You: Mommy needs you to do your homework now before hanging out with friends.

Child: I’d rather do my homework after I come back.

This is considered arguing with you. You need to teach them to answer, “Yes, mom.”

This is better:

You: Mommy needs you to do your homework now before hanging out with your friends.

Child: Yes, mom. Can I ask you a question?

You: Sure.

Child: Would it be possible for me to do my homework with my friends if we promise to focus and do it right.

The point is that he must respond appropriately to your original instructions before asking his question. This scenario honors you and the child, allowing him to communicate further without you arguing.

 

So, what do you think about all this? Maybe you think it is harsh but I can tell you from experience (because I work with kids everyday) that it would be nice if kids would honor and respect adults. I think that it’s getting worse every day. Hank has even said (from his experience being a police officer) that parents call the police on their children all the time because their kids are “out of control”.

I don’t know how you feel about this but all I know is I have friends who use these principles with their kids and have been successful! :)

Next week I will continue with people skills again! Be sure to come back!

1 comment:

  1. I really enjoyed this entry. I totally agree with what you are saying...wish I could put some of these tips in a brochure and give them to parents at school

    ReplyDelete