Nobody said life was easy…

8.09.2011

I wish life was easy.

Seriously.

I know I’m wasting my time wishing. While I was pregnant I was positive that I wanted to stay home with Audrey. She was going to be born so close to the start of the school year and I just *knew* that I wanted to be home with her. I felt that way about Tryp so I was positive that I would feel the same about her. Wrong. Maybe I’m crazy but having a second child is completely different than the first. I love her to pieces but I can honestly say that I am not looking forward to being a stay at home mom.

I love my job. I love teaching. I worked so hard to get to where I am/was. It took me 6.5 years to get a Bachelors degree because I had to work while I attended school.

I personally feel like I will be a better mom if I was working instead of being home. I won’t be stressing about financials because we all know that one income doesn’t quite cut it now-a-days. So my thoughts were to go back to school to work on my masters degree. Which is another goal of mine. As I thought about it though…I just can’t justify putting our family into $20,000 more debt while I stay home.

Of course now that I’ve made the decision to head back to teaching, the job opportunities are slim pickens. And it seems like the principals are looking for individuals with Masters degrees. Of course.

I keep trying to get advice from other people about my “situation” but it doesn’t help. Most people say I should enjoy staying home. I’m pretty sure I’ve heard “they are only little once” a million times. I understand that too. I love the baby days and watching them learn all the new things…rolling over, smiling, cooing, crawling, eating, drooling, etc. At the same time in my mind I keep thinking I can offer my family so much more by working.

On another note, I’ve been moving forward with the whole masters degree thing because getting a job seems impossible right now. So I’ve decided to get my Masters in Elementary Education with a focus in Reading. (unless of course I land a job at the last minute) I want to get an additional license as a Reading Specialist. Of course the state requires certain courses to be taken…what would you know that the U of A isn’t offering ANY of those courses this fall. So I would basically be taking one course required for the degree and two “extra” courses which would be good to have but lets be realistic…why do I want to pay graduate fees for courses not required for my focus. Ugh. Oh wait, let me add that those courses that I would be taking that are “extra” are in the evenings and I would have to find childcare because Hank works evenings. Ugh again.

I’m not really sure WHAT the heck I’m doing. I’m just hoping something works out. Nobody said life was easy…but nobody said it was this hard either! I’ll end this crummy post with a picture of our princess… gosh I love her!

Princess

2 comments:

  1. Hope it all works out. I know what you mean about working vs. staying at home. I am getting ready to go from working to staying at home. I never thought I had any desire to stay at home. I am doing now because we are relocating. I have no idea what I will eventually end up doing but being a SAHM is going to be a huge change for me!

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  2. Girlfriend...you are not alone! I felt the same way with my 2nd. I never had the option of staying home, but I was excited to go back. I had post partum pretty bad, so going back to work was a nice break. I know they're only babies once, but when you feel better, you're a better mom/wife/friend, etc. I wish you the best of luck this year!!!! Remember...if HE brings you to it, HE'LL bring you through it!!

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